When you become a mom, you automatically turn into “Mama Bear”. You are that babies protector. You know whats best for them and know how to do it RIGHT. Your husband or child’s father on the other hand might not have that same level of power. Not because he doesn’t want too, but because YOU won’t let him. You might not even know you’re doing this! After 7 months with our daughter Lucy, I am starting to see this in our own household and I am saddened to say I don’t think I’ve fully allowed my husband to be the best dad he can be.
If you’re a stay-at-home mom, you are with your baby ALL day EVERYDAY. If your baby is anything like mine, it is attached to you like gum on the bottom of your shoe. You leave the room and its little head is twisting and turning trying to find you. Well this is also what happens when daddy comes home from work. Yes, shes excited to see daddy and play with him, but when I leave the room their in she instantly is done playing and is crying for me.
We have to give dads the opportunity for our babies to want them just as much! DON’T just run to them when their crying and take them out of dads arms because they want you. Let dad console them. Give him a chance to show them he can love and protect them just as much as you can. Its not that dad is doing anything wrong, its just baby isn’t as comfortable with them as they are you.
Everyday try and have “daddy & baby alone time” for at least a half hour. Take this time for a nice long bubble bath, trip to the store, or even just sit outside on the patio with a book and glass of wine! Under no circumstance (unless emergency) interrupt or show your face! Let dad have this alone time with baby. It’s so important for them to create a special bond at this young age. Having this alone time with baby everyday will help in the long run.
Something I’ve noticed with some fathers is they don’t have the confidence when it comes to being a dad and being alone with the baby. They might not feel like they can do things as well as mom does. But that is not true!!! The problem is they aren’t given enough opportunities to learn! We often just do things ourselves because its easier.
Speak words of affirmation to your husband everyday. Give him that confidence boost! When hes with your child compliment how well he is doing and how much baby loves him. It might seem silly, but this will really make him feel good and give him that confidence he needs.
You are NOT all that….
Just because you are “MOM”, doesn’t mean you know it all. It does not mean you are any higher up than dad is just because your baby cries for you and not him. Never make your husband feel like they are not as important as you are. Stop saying things like “Just give me them, they want ME”. Or “You’re not doing it right, that’s not how I do it”. It’s not all about you! It’s about that precious baby you guys created together and have been blessed with by God. Work TOGETHER to be the best parents you can be!